It's An Addams!
by Aquarius-1977
Summary: Gomez and Morticia are expecting their first child. Miscommunication and hijinks ensue! Feedback is welcome.


CHAPTER ONE: "The Perfect Morning"

A perfectly overcast sky clouded over the skylights of the conservatory. Morticia delicately fed zebra meatballs to her African strangler from a fork, reveling in the absolute perfection of the gloomy morning.

"Now, Cleopatra," Morticia admonished gently. "Don't gulp! You'll give yourself indigestion. You should chew each bite at least thirty times."

Morticia's man-eating plant chattered in protest, waiting for the next forkful. Morticia deliberately cut a smaller piece this time before offering it.

"The way you carry on and baby that thing," Mamá Addams chided over her newspaper from the nearby table, "you'd think it was a child!"

"Every creature deserves a little kindness, Mamá," Morticia answered reasonably. She wished Gomez would finish dressing and hurry down to breakfast. She was grateful for the distraction of her plants. Feeding Cleopatra kept her hands steady.

"You should be cooing at a real baby," Mamá continued. "Speaking of which, when are you and Gomez going to give me a grandchild? It's been over two years since you got married. The honeymoon's over! The way you and that boy of mine canoodle, I should be a grandmother three times over by now."

Morticia set down the zebra meat and moved to check her deadly nightshade. She'd heard this over a hundered times already. "All things in due time, Mamá," she said with an enigmatic smile, her back to her mother-in-law. "The honeymoon most definitely is not over." She picked up the spray bottle and began misting the vines.

"I could whip up a potion," Mamá said thoughtfully, ignoring Morticia's gentle contradictions. "I'd have to send Lurch out for some rooster toes, but I think I have everything else. Of course, it would help if I knew if it was Gomez's fault – or yours."

Indignant, yet still poised, Morticia finally turned toward the table. "No one is at fault, Mamá!" Moving toward the stand where her roses awaited her, Morticia began clipping off the buds, placing the thorny stems into a delightful arrangement in her favorite vase. "I'm fairly confident," she continued, the smile returning to her face, "that a potion won't be necessary."

"Suit yourself," Mamá said, folding up her paper and pushing away from the table. "You know where to find me if you change your mind." She nearly bumped into Gomez on her way out of the room.

"Good morning, Mamá," Gomez said brightly, leaning down to kiss his mother on the cheek. "Fester said to tell you he's almost finished fixing the stockade."

"None too soon," Mamá answered, rubbing her neck as she walked away. "I can't wait to get rid of this pinched nerve."

Morticia joined her husband near the table, her tight dress reducing her stride to a shuffle. "Darling, I'll ring for Lurch to bring your breakfast."

"No time, _cara_," Gomez answered, reaching for his glass of choke cherry juice without even sitting. "I'm expecting an important call from Blücher the broker. Consolidated Fuzz was up to a hundred a share when the market closed last night."

"Gomez, that's wonderful!"

"Yes," Gomez said with a nod. "It's a shame I sold it when it went down to six at lunchtime."

Morticia smiled supportively. "Better luck next time, dear."

Gomez checked his pocket watch and drained his juice. "I'd better hurry." He turned to go.

"_Bubbeleh_," Morticia said somewhat hastily. "Wait just a moment."

Stopping in his tracks, Gomez turned and reached for Morticia's hand, and blazed a trail of kisses starting at her knuckles and heading toward her shoulder. "Tish! You know what that name does to me!"

"Later, dear," Morticia gently admonished, "later. Blücher the broker now, _bubbeleh_ later."

Gomez nodded, composing himself. "You're right, Tish."

"I just wanted to ask you something before you go."

"Anything, Tish," he said, catching his breath and smoothing his hair.

"Do you want a baby? I mean right now?"

Gomez laughed. "Of course not!" he answered without hesitation. "Why would I be in a hurry to give up having you all to myself?"

Morticia's expression fell, but she recovered quickly, returning the smile to her face "Of course, darling."

Gomez smoothed his hands over her shoulders as he leaned in to kiss her cheek. Concern filled his eyes as he pulled back. "Are you feeling alright, _cara_? Your cheeks have color. You're almost...glowing."

"I'm fine," she reassured her husband, though she felt anything but. "I'll see you at lunch. You don't want to miss your telephone call."

Gomez lavished a smile on her before leaving the conservatory.

Biting her lip, Morticia began to pace. The morning had not gone the way she anticipated despite its perfect beginning.

The room brightened as the sun came out from behind the clouds. It just figured.

Running a soothing hand over her abdomen, Morticia frowned. She would keep quiet until she found just the right way to deliver the news to her husband. Whether Gomez was ready or not, he and Morticia had a child on the way.


End file.
